[tongzilla]

One obstacle to my learning process is my penchant for automatic, negatvie self-defeating thoughts when I practice. I am a perfectionist. There are cognitive distortions listed in David Burns' book, Feeling Good, which are variations on perfectionism and all or nothing thinking. This includes emphazising the negatives and discounting the positives and negatively labelling myself and my efforts.

Objectively, I have learned a lot on my own . Very inconsistent. However, I tend to tell myself I have wasted my efforts or don't know what the hell I am doing, especially if everything clicks for 90 percent of a range session, then falls apart in the last 15 minutes. I am 100 percent goal oriented, and don't enjoy the journey. Sweat and persistence should be its own reward. That way I don't set myself up for failure with unrealistic expectiations. Albert Ellis, inventor of REBT,calls it realistic excellence. Perfection does not exist; it's an unattainable ideal. Hey, Tiger putted a ball into the water for Chrissakes.

After all, I have never taken a lesson, especially from an AI, so why should I expect to hit it like Tiger or the snot nosed 10 year old kid next to me who outdrives me? I should stirke the ball like me. Humans make mistakes, I make mistakes, therefore I am human.

THe main technique used in Burns' CBT(cognitivebehavioral therapy) and Ellis' REBT(Rational Emotive Therapy) is to write down or identify the automatic thought or reaction, identify the distortion and replace it with a more rational response.

For example, when I shank a few times in a row, I usually tell myself(or out loud) "I suck" or a much more colorful variation. In addition, I will add in the thought that I have wasted a year of learning from the Yellow Book. Even worse, I will sometimes call myself a beeping moron or worse. THe cognitive distortions are all-or-nothing thinking, shoulds or musturbation, mental filter, disqualifying the positive, overgeneralisation and labelling.

THe more rational and realisitc responses should be
1) I don't 'suck'. I am learning and make mistakes. I am not a pro, but a beginner. DId I not see Tiger recently mishit a drive that only went 180yds? Members of this forum with decades of experience make mistakes.
2) WHere is it written that I should strike the ball consistently? Did Moses leave that out when he was on Mt SInai? Just because I practice a lot and read a lot about the golf swing doesn't mean I should consistently strike the ball. It would be nice if that were the case, but that is not the real world.
3) Let's not forget that I have had days where I struck the ball very well. So well that others have stopped what they were doing to watch me. SO this notion that I don't know what I am doing is nonsense. I am very inconsistent and lose my way. I will often regain my form and technique within a week or month at latest. Even if I don't regain my form, the process of learning and lifting the fog feels good. IT would feel better if I struck the ball wellall the time, but taking a step back, researching, learning and practicing actually does give me pleasure.

4)Now for the finale. AM I a moron?(Hey, nobody answer that!!!) How logical is it to call myself a moron if I mishit a golfball? I do MANY things well in my life. THere are some things I do very badly at also. SO what, I am human and I make mistakes. But a moron? My academic record would strongly suggest otherwise. Heck, those racist, redneck a88holes who used to p*ss on me, did so because i wasn't a moron; they were jealous of my brains, and I was a convenient scapegoat for their insecurities.

Who do I send the 5 cents to? OR is it 10 cents?

When you feel something, like "I'm a moron..." and try to replace with a "rational response", it's a very unnatural thing to do, IMO.

The next time you make a negative comment to yourself, don't try to replace it with a rational justification. Instead just let your feelings (what your words are trying to describe) express itself. I do not mean you should accentuate your emotions , but just let it hang in the air. Do not make judgements about what feelings are bad and what feelings are good.

Just acknowledge your feelings.
Don't try and replace it with anything. Don't confirm your feelings or make encourage it. Just notice it's there and see what happens.

Soon, you should feel a certain kind of calmness that is very pleasant. This leaves you the mental resources needed to focus on the task at hand.

Using logic and rationality against your emotions clutters the mind. If you really want to think about it, do so off the course.

I hope this doesn't sound like a load of psycho-babble!