please rip my swing apart.

[Mike O]

Mac,
First I believe that 12 Piece was meaning left arm instead of right arm. I could be wrong - however, I think he was thinking from a right handed person perspective.

Secondly,
Your lead shoulder (right shoulder) I don't really see as an issue as far as it's height. Let's just say it's not your biggest problem.

Here is the quick internet version:
1) The head down "forever" needs to go.
2) The video quality is not that good - is your left hand coming off at the top of the swing?
3) Not sure I like the trail hand grip
4) No pivot through impact - allows hands to move through first and the clubface to close (shots go right) - you've offset that with the trail wrist scooping through - shouldn't be facing that much skyward after impact (however that makes the ball go more left offsetting the pivot stopping that creates the right shot. So you get a straight shot - sometimes.

Better downward blow - hits the ball more left - lagging clubhead hits the ball more left - better rotation of the pivot helps the ball go right and the proper motion through and after impact eliminates the palm up trail hand after impact and allows the ball go right. All that adds up to a better movement and straight shots.