I think your pivot looks quite good. I know a lot of single handicappers who doesn't look nearly as good as this. Swing plane looks good too.
But you're not using the pivot correctly though.
Pic 16-17-18 shows that you have an outside-in motion while the other guy is turning properly through the ball.
Pic 16: His hands are lower, he has more Accumulator #2 angle and he has much more shoulder turn left. He is positioned to swing the club straight down and straight through the ball.
If you from pic 16 were able to turn your shoulders on a very steep plane (by hip tilt) you could keep the swing plane and get away with it with flying colors (and perhaps a bad back after a few years). But your hands aren't going down under. Instead your shoulders are turning out to the left field. And this brings your hands - and then your club outsidde the swing plane. And I bet you loose a lot of lag pressure too.
Frame by frame you need to get your hands quicker down towards the ground. Your hands. Not your club head. The longer you let the club point towards the sky, the faster it will release. And you need to somehow delay your basically horizontal shoulder turn through those very same frames. Get your hands under your right shoulder - not around it.
So how do you get the hands quicker down? Three things that can help: 1) More forward bend from the hips at address (but I think you look good already), 2) More hula-hula: A little hip tilt in the back swing and some more forward hip tilt in the down swing. Hip tilt from the top can get your hands down pretty quick. 3) By pressing down with your right arm. Eventually you will have to turn your shoulders out of the way, but that will produce on-plane power if your hands are low enough when it happens.
If you have the yellow book you should look up "aiming point" it may get you a long way without thinking about a lot of body parts. Or you can use Ian Wosnam's old swing thought: "Down. And (then turn) through".
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